When you start your journey of fostering with the hope to someday adopt, what they don’t tell you is that the weight of that one “yes” will be so heavy that you’ll think it’s going to crush you.
When the doubts creep in, when the devil puts thoughts in your head, or when you yourself think you’re not enough to handle it, remember this: You are, you can, and you will.
Lately, I keep having thoughts that we shouldn’t have said “yes,” and that if we hadn’t become foster parents, then things would be different, calmer, and more peaceful. I wouldn’t lose my cool ALL of the time. I wouldn’t have so many regrets about what I said or did. She would be better off, and so would we. But then I look at this child’s face, with her soul-deep smile, and I know exactly why we said “yes.” She’s perfect. We are hers and she is ours, forever.
I am so overwhelmed at the thought of being her mom and what our family will be like. Where will I go for help, and what will we do? How will I get myself healthy for the long journey? But in the end, we fight, we ask for forgiveness, and we fight some more.
When the doubts keep creeping in, push them back down. When the devil puts thoughts into your head, give him a kick in the pants and say, “Not today, Satan!” When you think you can’t do it, know that you can and you will. You will fight for yours and never stop. Because they deserve it, and you deserve it!
I will pray for you. Please pray for us. It’s been so hard around here, and I hope that this helps at least one of you now. I see you, and you are not alone. You are loved; you are enough. Now I’m going to take my advice and start this day anew.